Motherhood is often painted as a blissful journey filled with joy and bonding. But for many women, the reality is far more complex — and far less talked about. Rashidat Olere, Operations and Sales Manager at BellaNaija, knows this firsthand. After welcoming her children, she found herself battling an unexpected and overwhelming darkness: postpartum depression. In this candid conversation, she opens up about navigating the emotional toll, the trauma that shaped her experience, and the support that helped her find her way back to herself.
What are the common symptoms of postpartum depression, and how do they differ from typical “baby blues”?
Many mothers describe it as a vacuum—an emotional numbness that they can’t quite explain. In my case, I lost confidence in myself and felt suicidal after the birth of both of my kids. There was a strong urge to self-harm, and I struggled with overwhelming sadness for a long time. Unlike baby blues, which resolve on their own, postpartum depression lingers, making it difficult to function and enjoy life.
Postpartum depression is more intense and lasts longer than baby blues. While baby blues bring temporary mood swings and mild sadness, postpartum depression creates a lingering sense of emptiness, hopelessness, and deep sadness that doesn’t easily go away.
What biological, psychological, and social factors contribute to the development of postpartum depression?
In this part of the world, we’re quick to label things as spiritual, but there are psychological, social and biological factors that lead to Post-Partum Depression. Psychologically, the pressure of being responsible for another human can be overwhelming. There’s often a fear of not being enough or not doing things “right,” leading to self-doubt and feelings of failure. Socially, the sad reality is that mothers are always needed, often without a break. Lack of support, societal expectations, and even cultural beliefs can make things worse. When a mother doesn’t feel seen or supported, the emotional toll becomes heavier. Biologically, hormonal shifts after childbirth can trigger intense emotional changes. The drop in estrogen and progesterone levels affects mood regulation, leading to anxiety and depression.
How does postpartum depression affect the mother-infant bond and the child’s long-term development?
For some mothers, postpartum depression makes it difficult to bond with their babies. The emotional disconnect can lead to feelings of guilt, frustration, and even resentment.
However, in my case, I bonded well with my first child. But with my second daughter, things were different. The distress surrounding her birth—failed anesthesia, being fully aware of my surgery, and feeling all the pain—was traumatic. It affected our bond for the first month because I was emotionally and physically drained. It wasn’t just about love; I was struggling to recover from the trauma.
Thankfully, I eventually got around that bonding part, but it took time. This highlights how childbirth experiences can impact the mother-infant relationship. Babies are sensitive to their mother’s emotional state, and prolonged detachment can affect their long-term emotional and social development.
What treatment options are available for postpartum depression, and how accessible are they in different healthcare systems?
Hmmmm… at the time, I didn’t even know there were treatment options. My mum hinted that it was spiritual (lol), and I didn’t feel like I could speak to anyone because they just didn’t understand.
The only person who truly got it was a friend who had her baby earlier. She was completely honest with me about her struggles, so I confided in her. There were days when I didn’t even know how to express myself—I’d just call her and cry, and she still understood. That emotional support was a lifeline.
Now, I know better. There are treatment options like therapy, medication (antidepressants), and support groups to help mothers cope. But accessibility depends on location and healthcare systems. In some countries, mental health support is prioritized, while in others, it’s barely recognized. Awareness is also key because many women, like me at the time, don’t even know that help exists.
How can family, community, and policy interventions help in preventing and managing postpartum depression?
I think that the family, community and even policy interventions can help mothers battling with postpartum depression. By paying attention to the mother—not just the baby. Often, once the baby is born, the mother is treated like just a vessel, as if her role ends after delivery. But she’s still a person who needs care, validation, and emotional support.
Checking in on the mother, helping with the baby, and reassuring her that she’s doing great can make a difference. Community awareness: Normalizing conversations about postpartum depression can encourage more women to seek help instead of suffering in silence. And I believe that maternity care should include postpartum mental health support. Paid maternity leave, mental health screenings, and access to therapy can help prevent severe cases.
At the end of the day, mothers don’t just need help with the baby—they need to be seen, heard, and cared for too.